I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?

I used to live in a house, with walls and seilings and photos hanged around, I knew the way around and nothing surprised me cause it was my place. Many times I made the stupid mistake of complaining about the sense of confinement, I thought I needed to breathe new air, I thought it was stopping me from living the life that was meant for me but I never stood up for it, I never tried much. However, growth comes with an ounce of courage, and it hits you all of a sudden, it knocks you down, so you bounce inmeditaely, you just act, using this courage foolishly, rapidly, mindlessly. That day, the day that it hit me, I ran out, I flew away by the window and just ran, catching every opportunity I had to make something different, something I had not been able to do at that house, but I knew not that I could never go back home, knowing not that thas was my home. For a moment, I enjoyed the freshness of this new life, but in a few minutes it faded away with much more than my excitement. It took away my clothes, my face, my hands, I was nude out it the woods, with no walls or seilings, nothing gave me shape. There were no directions, so I kept on running in circles, finding myself stepping on the same stupid rock. There was no you, or her, or him. There was no one around, and I was mad because I thought you were not present, I was mad cause I thought I've done all for nothing, but at last I had done what would make me lose everything. When I tried going back home, I saw a house torn apart, I threw stones at it and burned it to the ground, the place in which I lived all my life, the house that gave me a name, a life, the ones that made me who I am, who I was, who I used to be. Who am I now?

Why did you have to mess with forever?

"Said love was painted gold
like all thing growing old
the paint peels and slowly falls
You already know"

Your world appears to me as a mistery in which I want to land and stay to discover what's inside, and yet with all my will, sometimes I feel its not enough to want you back, to need a peace of your life, to love you this much. I feel wrong and all the things I should love I hate and nothing seems to work. I'm endlessly craving for that that can hurt, while words are twisted from my mind to what I actually say, and again all is lost. Lately, the world me around me is changing so much, I see things I didn't know were true, I met people and confronted fears and questions I never thought I could, but still the mirror doesn't change, its says forever in my hand and you are there standing beside me, distant or close I can always hear you breathing but it's not true, it's just the mirror cause it can't be true, forever is not here and you are not even near. Vehemently, I break the image that is reflected only to run towards you and feel that it's not ended, but I as arrive to your island, my heart is done pumping, ,my body is done running, and I..and I wonder if anything is ever worthy, if anything could ever feel that real again. 

A standing ovation, she laughs at the irony of her luck. She's got nowhere to go so she waits and drinks the salt water so she can keep on jeopardizing whatever effort they've been doing, she laughs and weeps inside, trying to spill the memories so she can say goodbye, but she's too thirsy so she just starts again and laughs. "Drink a little more girl and your thoughts will be gone" he said and took the other way.But she's not strong enough.

The first day of spring-Noah and the whales

It's the first day of spring
And my life is starting over again
The trees grow, the river flows
And its water will wash away my sins
For I do believe that everyone has one chance
To fuck up their lives
But like a cut down tree, I will rise again
And I'll be bigger and stronger than ever before

For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back

There's a hope in every new seed
And every flower that grows upon the earth
And though I love you, and you know that
Well I no longer know what that's worth
But I'll come back to you in a year or so
And I'll rebuild, be ready to become
Oh the person, you believed in
Oh the person, that you used to love

For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back
For I'm still here hoping that one day you may come back