You don't care, in reality nobody cares. But you especially don't care

El hecho de que haya intento o no, tiene mucha importancia queridos pocos y afortunados seguidores, porque te demuestra si a ese alguien le importa o no, si no trata es porque no le importa (al menos no cuanto vos queres que le importe) nosé si me siguen pero basicamente nada, no te importa y punto.

Pd. Hacer una entrada tan chota sin esmero alguno es todo un tema de darle sentido a lo que digo, va con el mensaje....y además que nada estoy en crisis y tenía ganas de hablar sola un rato. Chau, gracias por escucharme, leerme, por nada

All we ever do is say goodbye

We're just ordinary people, you and me.

Time will turn us into statues, eventually.

Is it too late to remind you how we were?

Por un instante miro atrás y sonrío, como nunca antes sonrío. Nos veo a nosotros dos, caminando en silencio de cómplices mirando al suelo, tentados por la risa que tiembla por dentro en cada uno, y sin querer nuestras miradas chocan.

Compartimos un mundo de canciones que reflejaban todo lo que nunca nos quisimos decir, compartimos melodías que apaciguaban nuestros sufrimientos, compartimos letras que fueron hechas para nosotros, casi como si nuestro molde hubiera sido meticulosamente pensado para entrar en esa canción. Nos entendíamos en nuestra locura, en nuestra ira, nos victimizamos a más no poder. Eramos adolescentes y queríamos adolecer, nuestro amor era nuestra fantasía, utópica, surreal, única. Y aún lo es. 

You could be happy and I won't know

But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wish I had not said
Are played on lips 'til it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were?
But not our last days of silent, screaming blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world 

I want to be skinny. I want to be pretty.

It's sad but it's true. 

Vulnerability: Missunderstood

She wanders restlessly the streets of a life she does not believe in. To her, all this is fantasy, all this is a mere reflection of someone's dreams. A dreamer who forgot the ones that were in it. Inside, she feels like a trashed queen, doesn't know what its like to be seventeen. But this illusion is a blur so she cares about nothing, not about the pedestals and prices, not about the mendacious faces smiling, she cares about nothing. Don't you see? Doesn't anybody see? Everything she touches, goes to waste. Everyone that comes to her, goes away. A train wreck does not even begin to describe what she has become. She's got an apetite for destruction, it's almost corrosive. Don't you dare look her in the eye, she drains the soul away from every living thing around, until she's left alone. All she wants is to be left alone so don't you dare to walk by her side.  Oh, dreamer where art though? Where did you go? We're losing touch. 

Can't count on people

Nunca antes nos hubieramos imaginado a nuestras almas barrenando en mares de máscaras muertas sin expresión alguna. Nunca antes hubiera creído que este mundo daba refugio también a los demonios del pasado. Nunca antes hubiera creído que lo que creemos que es una tierra de paz y de redención, es un purgatorio sin lujurios, sin opción de salida, es una bartolina en las condiciones más precarias donde cada uno sueña hasta donde su limitada mente de salvaje le permite y sueña con lo propio, sueña con que lo tiene todo y con que no, sueña con sus felicidades y sus tragedias, pero sueña sin pensar en el otro, sueña más que nada con soberbia. Son mazmorras secas, cuyos murales angostos cobran vida de noche para acosar a quien se encuentre adentro. Murales repletos de imágenes debastadoras, imágenes que matan, que delatan la realidad, acusan a la víctima y liberan al bandido. Nunca antes hubieramos creído que Dios nos abandonó aquí, nos endulzamos con la inocente idea que nos había adentrado a un mundo de imaginación con el propósito de evitar cualquier sufrimiento, con el propósito de enceguecernos. Pero ya estamos grandes, y elegimos que ver y que creer.

Its the fear of being alone, that told me not to let you go.

"It had never occurred to me that our lives, which had been so closely interwoven, could unravel with such speed. If I'd known, maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them and not let unseen tides pull us apart. "

-Never Let Me Go

Standing at the crossroads

Some people were not born this kind of life. I think most of us aren't. We eventually find ourselves committed to a life that we never wished, maybe others did meant it for us, but it was never in our minds to become lawyers fully compromised to the work, to become a bank manager that stays until 2 am in the office, to become a body that satisfies a system. The thing is many of us are limited by the fear of not being able to support a life with all its basic needs, many of us fear that one day that person that subsidies our life in material terms will no longer do that, many of us are limited by the expectations of our parents. Parents don't understand this "radical" kind of life, when you become a parent your happiness lies in the lives of your children, you want them to be happy, to be safe. Some prefer safe, and they believe that strength for this type of system, for this world, strength is build with a title, with a job, with money enough. Everyday, as I take a leap into the future, as I approach the day that I will take a step on my own, I fear more. I fear that I will not live a happy life, that I will live they life they wanted me to, and eventually become depressed about it and lose all motivations, and just live to die. Or I fear that I will not satisfy my parents, that I will not make them happy, that I will not do the sacrifice they've made for me all my life. I fear life.

In the end, the only steps that matter

Are the ones you take by yourself.

-The Weepies

Daughter to father

Mrs. Darling: There are many different kinds of bravery. There's the bravery of thinking of others before one's self. Now, your father has never brandished a sword nor fired a pistol, thank heavens. But he has made many sacrifices for his family, and put away many dreams.
Michael: Where did he put them?
Mrs. Darling: He put them in a drawer. And sometimes, late at night, we take them out and admire them. But it gets harder and harder to close the drawer... He does. And that is why he is brave.

Peter Pan.-

Daddy taught me a lesson. I still can't figure it out, but he did. He told me once in his life, he was this popular guy in a way, he had friends from all over and he enjoyed this part of life. However, he told destiny had different path for him, destiny wanted him to be someone else, fate wanted him to be rather skeptical and suspicious about people themselves. One day the brother of whom he called his best friend failed him, but he really failed him. He betrayed him and his family and unaware of how things had happen, dad could not believe again in any of them, not his best friend or his brother. He just didn't believe in people anymore. He could not believe that there was hope for them, he believed that people were bound fail each other. Months later, his best friend died but by the time my dad had taken distance from him and his friends. A series of tragic events followed in his life, as if all the people who could possibly make him change his mind, were bound to go, to leave him. His dad did, because he had bigger issues up high, his sister did because she could not handle the death of their father, his mother did because she was too depressed. But also in this time, he met mom. My mom. And today they have 10 children. Life has taken so much my dad, it had destroyed his hope, taken his loved ones, vanished his goals, twisted his course and yet he drew the knife from his back and kept his feet on the ground. He stood up to life, which seemed more like death, he kept strong and even if he showed no faith in humanity, he always kept it alive. He sat for years holding his dad's hand until he left, he helped his mom and still today when he's alone he cries for them. And he found someone who made him happy, who brought him back to life, someone who he loved, someone with who he wanted to make more life, give back what was taken away from him.

My father is the bravest person I'll ever meet.

One for Bon Iver

Luckless Romance

And I wish that we could go back and say

"Let's not do this, we will break each other's heart"

I wish that I could give back all those times you made me feel right

Cause this, you and I, we will never be one

Cause you, you and me we are not meant to be.

I wish that I could go back and say to myself don't follow that path,

girl you're going down.

His heart is an open wound and yours an iced stone

Haunting for pain in other people's eyes.

Girl don't go there, it will ache so hard

Cause he'll never love you like you want

He'll never understand

And you will never be who he needs.

Ignorance is bliss

El problema no es tener sueños de alto rango, el problema no es vivir ilusionando. El problema es no ser realista sobre lo que se requiere para alcanzar esos sueños, el problema es no reconocer lo que en verdad hay que hacer para llegar lejos. El problema es ser un sueño viviente, que el camino previo al deseo sea útopico, irreal y que uno no lo pueda ver, eso es el problema. No el gran sueño.