After the storm

And after the storm,

I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and mine so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair
Mumford & Sons

Sometimes the sun is only an illusion hiding the storm.

She realized that there mere things in life that had once produced her complete happiness, were the things that now evolved into monstrous corpses of the past that were crashing on her, stepping on her while she was lying on the floor, feeling the cold pavement of July smash her face sweetly as if it wished to incrust a piece of reality into her, as if it wished to grow over her wet cotton-like grass full of flowers growing constantly and rabbits jumping around.

And as much as I pretend not to give a fuck..I can't help crying at night

No puedo ser como vos.Tengo límites que quisiera no tener.Tengo sentimientos que no entiendo de verdad.Tengo dudas que me acosan y sueños que me derriban. Tengo tanto para decir, tanto para contarte y me la paso gastando saliba en pelotudeces. Pero ya no sé que hacer. Siempre pensé que lo que baja siempre debe subir y viceversa, pensé que si toda esta farándula barata paraba y me dejaba abajo como estoy ahora al menos todo lo que ya estaba abajo, lo que me pasa que no entiendo subiría, estaría mejor, pero ahora me siento en el fondo fondo. Te pongo sonrisas y te hablo de cosas insignificantes, me escondo, me cayo cuando sacas el tema, y la realidad es que me siento como tu sombra cuando deberías ser mi segunda mano. No te culpo, es todo culpa mía pero es que no entiendo, me siento débil, me siento perdida y sé que aunque trate de convencerme de que todo va a volver a ser igual, y voy a volver a la cima por vos, para hacerte feliz; en mi cabeza no me la creo nada y me veo acá por un largo tiempo.

I drew a line in the sand

Hoping no one would break the stones that I gathered to make me strong

And every morning I walked up there and picked them up

And took them a little bit nearer

So the line kept on getting closer

As I blocked the mind, the body, the soul, the heart..

I built a wall

A great wall, greater than the China wall

A wall that would not let anyone trespass my boundaries

And now I was so strong, from lifting up all those stones

I looked in the mirror and felt better

I thought no one could break me now

Slowly I forgot about the wall because I was strong enough

And because I let some of you make little holes through the wall

You peeked through the holes, that sooner or later would bigger enough to let you in

But I trusted all you, I still do.

You got in and healed the wounds, you helped me close my scars

And you smashed the darkest clouds that would always follow me around.

You grew rainbows in my heart, and let some magic rain for us

And you gave me a key to each of your hearts, to some truth that would help me out

In between the colors and smiles, I saw a man, a boy in dark clothes

He was staring and I couldn't help staring too.

I felt something, I felt it was a ghost from the past

Whose eyes looked a lot like mine

I saw a ocean in his eyes and I felt close

I felt so sorry for him I just let him be around

Knowing the secrets only you used to know

I didn't expect him, but then again I didn't expect you all either

One day he came up to talk to me

He grabbed me strongly by the arms

And they now felt like air

All the strength I had put up was lost

I felt my body was a jello dismantling in his hands

I felt I didn't exist anymore

Now I knew what you were

You came knowing you could break me down

I took a stick and started drawing lines in the sand

I drew and drew all around me but you still had me in your arms

I fell on the sand and saw how the wall slowly came down

Saw how you all vanished with the stones

As he got closer and closer.

I always trusted you, I always will

But I will never trust myself.

Oh the cold wet wind blew over the heather
You wrote Charlie and Mary for forever
On the back of a rock
That you picked up on the way
And in that perfect moment
I nearly ruined it
By saying I love you
And nearly meaning it
But you know I would never waste those words
Oh when I last saw Mary
She lied and said it was her birthday
Oh when i last saw mary
She lied and said it was her birthday

But then she
Tried to kiss me
And I said don't bother
You know we don't really love one another
And there's no use
In burning out this flame
Oh but then things changed in a way I couldn't predict
She said I love you and it suddenly clicked
That she was only saying what she wanted me to hear

And I said
Please don't lie to me Mary
And I said
Please don't lie to me Mary

I said
Please don't lie
Oh it makes me cry in bed
I said
Please don't lie
Oh it makes me cry in bed
I said
Please don't lie
Oh it makes me cry in bed
And she said
Shut your mouth
You don't know what you're talking about
Oh she said
Shut your mouth
You don't know what you're talking about

Why? Cause its safer.

And there she was,

stamping her heart to the floor,

once again

tearing it apart,

so that no one else could take a piece of it.

There she was,

selling her body

while her soul sailed away.

Seems to me you can't hide again

Seems to me you've got no one else to play with

Are you ready to fall?

Or are you gonna keep looking for someone to hang from?

Are you ready to stop?

Is it ever gonna stop?

I am who I need to be

Si pudiera ser lo que quisiera, me dedicaría a componer música. Aprendería a tocar por lo menos un instrumento y todo sería música. Es algo que me encantaría.

Si pudiera.

Maybe stories are just stories, but maybe we can make our lives stories.

Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.

A veces me pregunto si de verdad sos feliz. Miro tus fotos una y otra vez con tus nuevas amigas y me intriga saber que te pasa adentro. Pensar que tiempos atrás lo sabía todo de vos y ahora no sé nada, capaz nunca supe nada. Capaz cada vez que saludabas al grupito elite por dentro llorabas pensando: "quiero ser como ustedes!". Pero frente a nosotras, las que te escuchamos, las que te ayudamos, las que estuvimos ahí para vos siempre, las que te creímos el prototipo perfecto de amiga, ponías una máscara que aparentaba odiar el tipo de vida que los demás tenían, que aparentabas tener siempre las mejores intenciones para todos, y aparentabas ser la chica que nunca se descarrilaría y que ante todo ponía a su familia, claro para ese tiempo nosotras nos creíamos parte de tu familia. Entonces, qué te pasó? Tengo la teoría de que tu familia es aún la que más te influencia y la que al fin y al cabo te llevó a donde estás hoy. Tu hermano diciendote como ser para mantener una reputación, tu mamá alentándote a que siempre hagas lo que los demás quieren con tal de satisfacerlos. Supongo que si te hace bien, no es tan malo. Pero como lográs olvidar y deshacerte de personas que te acompañaron desde chica? Cómo te olvidaste de nosotras así? Cómo haces para mirarnos a la cara con tu mejor sonrisa si sabes que nos abandonaste. Nos traicionaste, porque no fue solo que hayas cambiado de grupo, fue que nos hayas dejado varadas como estúpidas esperando una respuesta que nunca conseguimos. Creo que si en ese momento hubieramos dejado las flores y el paraíso en el que nos encontrabamos para ponernos a pensar de verdad como eras, nos hubieramos dado cuenta que esto iba a pasar. No cambiaste, siempre fuiste así, solo que una vez que conseguiste lo que querías no nos necesitaste más, porque ya no estabas sola, porque ya habías conseguido con quien compartir tu trono.

Tengo que admitir que por momentos, te envidio, es la realidad, me encantaría tener todo servidito en bandeja como vos, me encantaría que las cosas fueran tan fáciles, me encantaría poder esconderme bajo falsas sonrisas como payaso y aparentar que llevo la mejor vida. Pero más que envidia, te tengo mucha pero mucha pena, porque no te puedo explicar lo que te perdes. No puedo agradecer más por las amigas que tengo, capaz no pueda salir todo el tiempo con ellas como vos, capaz no pueda invitarlas a miami y tomar juntas sol, pero sé que estan siempre conmigo, sé que no importa que tan lejos se vayan, siempre voy a poder contar con ellas y que siempre van a tener un lugar importante en mi vida, porque juntas nos formamos en lo que somos hoy, y estoy más que orgullosa de cada una de ellas aunque suena re contra cursi.

It's not just life, it's a mystery.

The thing is, there's a bigger deal out there no one wants to see. And the hardest part is, we are not blind, we are just afraid. Some of us more than others so we choose oblivion as our life rule so that eventually we get to caught up in the routine that it just fits into the plan, because for most of the time it is like we are actually blind. Until the last second comes.