Nothing really matters, none of the stuff you care about, matters to us. It's funny, because most of us, or all of us are deeply wounded in our cores, we live on mountains of shattered dreams, superficial trash, restless bygones that torment us so they never really become bygones, and all because of you, because of the walls you used to strain us, because of the fancy visions you painted for each of us, because of all the shit you forced us to want just like you. It's funny cause we became your opposites. Probably after listening so much crap, so much fairytales and fantasies, we decided we didn't want to be wannabes of the grey monstrous jungle, we wanted to be individual, original, genuine, but most of the times we found ourselves limited by the love we had for you, and there's nothing we could do to save ourselves from the missinterpreted paths that this kind of life forces us to take. Aside of the future you made for me, aside of all the guilt you made me believe was mine, aside of all the silences I had force so I wouldn't hurt you, never in my life will I forgive you for what you've done today. You can care about fruits and vegetables, cars and gold, you can do whatever you want with my life, but I'm never forgiving you for today. The difference with you chosing my future before  and now is that yesterday I had accepted and I was willing to smile at life, now I'm just in a state of constant rage until I run away.

Endings are never really endings

And now, as I take my baggage down the new road, I think of the new rules that will help me in this journey; first of all, to hold no grudge of the past, of any mistakes, of what I believed unfair, of the falls or the dissapointments; also to smile, as many times as possible; to say yes to new opportunities and most important to try my best to achieve them all; to learn from the people I admire the most, the ones I love for everything they do; to hold on to all those strings that made me happy, that made me strong; to share this journey with each person that I cherish; to take a picture of each moment I wish to treasure, even if they are simply on my mind, I shall never let them slip away; to laugh; to hope; o dance; to be the person I always wanted to be and not the person that is taken over by hatred, by remorse, by misery; to enjoy music as much as possible and maybe even create some; to never let go of art and try to make it have a major role in my life; to enjoy nature and each of its miracles; to love you endurably and to be able to show it, without shame, without doubt; to always inspire and encourage; to make people happy and to be happy and even if I stumble upon hate, pain, resentment, I shall fight it off my life and breathe, always breathe.

Silence

I feel as if you're fading
with the long goodbyes that slip with the wind that skims the music around
I feel as if you're waving and each time you take a step back
until you're just a small shadow in the distance
And still I come home wishing to see your horse at the front door
But there's nobody there, only the leaves that I crash so I don't have to hear
So I don't have to hear that you`re not here
Still, I wake up and take my endless hair out the window
So you can use it as a rope
A rope to come back home, 'cause I know this is where you belong
But I stand there waiting with the tiny tiny hope that the touch I feel is not the air saying you're alone, you're alone, I wait and wait and count the stars so time passes by until you reach back, but never have the starts seemed so infinite
Momma says I always saw the sky dark because I had enough light in my life, because I did not need the starts to guide me, and that now I see them all clear because I'm lost without you here, without you here says the silence and it won't stop, it just won't stop.

"You once told me, our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. Is that true for everybody, or is it just poetic bullshit?"

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. Because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says you're nowhere near ready, but the other half says: make her yours forever."

"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure in the world."

.-Joh Steinbeck

Who do you wanna be?

There's a sun out there waiting for each of us every single day, waiting to reflect the specks that make us unique but its like we embrace being shadows, we rejoice our space far from the spot light, we portray ourselves in low resolution unabling anyone to see any details we hide. Inside we are rotting but as long as our shell is protecting us and nobody tries to peel off our layers we feel safe. Safe but weak,we are cowards. We are those kind of people who stand in line waiting for God to arrive bearing gifts, we patiently wait with the hope that sometime we will walk out of our shelters and find a big sign saying: "Here is were we grant all your wishes, be the star of your own life"; knowing not that those who've achieved their goals, are those who forged their destiny, ignoring that the path that we are taking was chosen only by ourselves and is not just a matter of circumstances and chances and possibilities and limitations, its about ourselves and our fears. People who succed are people who are not fearless, but they are corageous, they are willing to fail, they are those who have the greatest fears but they go first in line to buy as much tickets as possible to try over and over again to overcome them, they are willing to fall and let everyone point them out with their evil smiles as long as it will take them to their place of peace, of happinnes. We, on the other hand, we convince ourselves that we are one step closer each day while instead we are dying a little more each second, we look at our fears right in the core of their eyes and we let them manipulate us, we let them reach our deepest emotions and play with them, we are puppets of our own  monsters, we are puppets of the world's expectations and our inability to listen any judgments because we've tasted bitterness before, we've tasted failure and it was just too much for ourselves, so we chose the easy road, silent, dark and constant.

Sabotage

All these messed up trails, they don't lead anywhere. I've been wandering the streets, hoping blissfully that as everyone says, they will lead me to Rome and I will find my home. But so far, I've seen the drinkers, the unscrupulous men selling little girls, I've been in the storm while it took away everything that they had, I saw them crying cause one looked at me right in the eye, I saw his life and his future, but I didn't dare to help him out. I wanted to ask for directions but I've got a thing with affection,and all this, all that, all this being lost and not found  it all comes back to you.

Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting.-John Green

I would do anything for you-Foster the people

Everyday is a battle I face
Strange life I live, but it's what you've decided
I give it all into your hands
Do what you will with me
And I'll, I'll smile when you speak
Remember those times when I was hoping for something?
And shaking my head from all that I've done
But you never left me


I'd give it up for you
I'd do anything for you

My personal Buddha

"Tha Post"

The minute you lay expectations on the people you love, you constrain them to a life inside a narrowed bottle, where, if they love you back, they do as much as they can to please you, even if that means being carried away from the path of dreams. I think, sometimes expectations mislead us, they trick us into doing things we don't love but still, we try our best to fulfil them cause it means that we're making someone happy. Its a sacrifice, its the life of a martyr. Sometimes I think what would it be if we didn't have those limits? What would be if we had no attachments, would we be free? Or can we be free without needing to please our loved ones? So ask yourself, if you wanna live life for yourself, or you want to live for someone else?

Te amo.

What a shame, we all become such fragile broken things

When I go to sleep at night, I always wish that as soon as I cover myself with the blank sheets, they will clear my head, they will take away these thoughts of mine, these thoughts I would never want for anyone else, I wish that they'd make me pure, innocent, fresh, I wish they'd take me back to some other time when everything was better, happier, easier. The thing is, there was no such time, it was only that I was apt to playing someone else's games, its just that I had back up and now I've got nothing, I don't even have the will to follow the lead, I'm tired of doing so and still being lonely, I'm tired of being the third player in a game for two, I always feel like I'm stepping into someone else's life, unwelcome but yet most of them find the way to get through all my regular inconveniences and accept me, help me. But I'm sick of that, I feel pity for all those who feel forced to welcome me and I admire them but I also feel exhausted of being the one who's always left out, cause lets face it I don't belong there, never will I belong there. That's why, at night I always cover myself up, hoping that the sheets will dry my tears and maybe take me somewhere very far from here.